Do you have "Difficult Personalities" in your workplace

I've had a week of coaching clients and coaching sessions, and I've started to notice a pattern. And the pattern has been to constant questions about that one (or sometimes more!) 'difficult personality'in their team.

When I work with Executive Leaders, they know that communication is so important to build a great team and reach success. However, a lot of those who I speak with have a hard time handling team members with 'difficult personalities'.

I get it, it can be challenging facing confrontation or having difficult conversations with your team, especially for those who have personalities that are not quite aligned with yours.

What an opportunity to step into curiosity and learn something more about your individual team members.  

Types of difficult personalities" in the workplace

For years I've been working on creating the identity (and the solution) of some of the most common 'difficult personalities'. There are 8 main characters, here's the most common.

Most businesses and workplaces have a similar cast of characteristics for people who have been labelled 'difficult personalities'. And what I know about people is that they're less 'difficult' and more just 'different'.

• Achievers - The achievers are those who constantly push the team and try to motivate everyone and pump everyone up. However, this may not be beneficial for the team at all times. In fact, these types of people can be a little bit exhausting at times.

• Know-it-alls - They are one of the greatest assets when it comes to team dynamics however, these people can be misinterpreted as "smarty pants", and the perception that they are difficult to manage because, well, they know it all.

• Quieter team members - The quiet ones are those who are more silent during the meetings and because of this, the general assumption is that they don’t have a lot to say. However, that may not always be the case. They are quiet not because they have nothing to say, but because they may not be comfortable speaking up, or haven't been given enough time to succinctly formulate their response.

• Negative Nancys - These team members are those who find fault in everything or everyone. These are typically the disrupters in the team, and ones people tend to steer clear of.

Managing these diverse personalities in the workplace can be tricky without the right tools. The most successful teams are formed when leaders understand each persons strengths and weaknesses and learn how to leverage each member’s unique talents to encourage everyone to work together.

Whilst it is nice to build a team who have similar characteristics as you, it is more beneficial to have a more diverse team to create better dynamics and to investigate the full spectrum or ideas and perspectives..

Here are some ideas on how you as the leader can handle 'different' personalities

• Be careful of putting people inside a box.

Instead of putting your team members with certain characteristics in a box, find out if your employees are thinkers or learners. Are they people orientated, or task orientated? Do they like to do things quickly, or more slowly? Be curious about each team member and try to find out how they learn. Are they visual learners, audio learners, doers, or observers?

• Start getting curious about your team members

Start getting curious about your team members and their way of communicating, thinking and working so you can adjust your leadership style to benefit the whole team. It is also a good idea to build your relationship with your team by giving people a generous assumption. This means, giving the benefit of the doubt that most people want to do a good job.

• Setting standards and expectations

It is always good to set the bar high for your expectations and standards. But remember to have open communication and clearly share these expectations and standards with the team so that everyone is on the same page. When you make sure that you are explicit in what the expectations are, this sets the tone for a more conducive working relationship.

• Know what success looks like for your team

As above, set the expectations for your team and clearly articulate what success looks like. What does a good day look like? What does a successful week or month look like? What are the indicators of success? By doing so, you and the team can start making more concrete steps to achieve these indicators of success.

• Know what is important and what are the drivers of your team?

Are they goal oriented? Is perfection what drives them? Do they value rewards? Start being curious and asking these questions, as well as understanding how you will celebrate as a team.

• Stop taking things personally

If you are going to lead your people you need to remember... It's not about you(!) try not to take it personally. Identify your own communication style, how your stressors can be perceived and what you need to be an effective leader.

What I've learnt as a leader over the past two decades is that we're as much the same as we are different. What is difficult to one person, is a delight to another. I'll often say that leadership would be easy if there weren't people involved, but alas that is the game and the challenge. When leaders are serious about really being exceptional leaders, the most effective skill they can learn is how to communicate, and communicate well!

What do you think could be a different approach to your 'difficult personality' person?

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Ally Nitschke is a best-selling Author, an award-winning Thought Leader and Speaker. She has been working with leaders and as a Leader for over 20 years.

She is on a mission to change the way we communicate at work, to lean into those uncomfortable conversations and lead with courage.

Ally is a Keynote Speaker at conferences, delivers Transformational Programs & highly engaging workshops as well as provides Executive Coaching.

In her spare time, she's mostly at the beach with her beautiful husband and 4 tiny people.